


My Heart Will Wait

by Misti1987



Series: One Shotness [1]
Category: Shameless (US), Shameless - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Ian'sLow, Love, M/M, Mandy.Ian.Friendship, Pain, Prison Visit, ProtectiveMick, Sad, Season6-ish, Tears, talks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 13:28:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6331042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misti1987/pseuds/Misti1987
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian is having a really bad day, to get him out of bed Mandy convinces him to go see Mickey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Heart Will Wait

**Author's Note:**

> Had this little idea pop into my head. I really do wait for the day when all of Ian's feelings come rushing to the surface for him. Until then, here's a little scene that I think would be perfect for them. ;)

Mandy listened intently to the breathing on the other side of the phone as she picked up. “Ian? Ian?” she asked.

 

“Hey, Mands,” he said lightly. “If this is a bad time, I can call back,” he said in a sullen almost broken voice.

 

“What's going on Ian?” she asked.

 

“Nothing, I'm fine,” he said, the lies seeping from his voice.

 

“Ian, be honest with me. What are you doing right now?” She asked, afraid of the answer.

 

“In bed,” he said simply.

 

“At five p.m.? How long have you been in bed?” she asked softly but lovingly.

 

“A few days,” he answered honestly, not having the energy to lie to her.

 

“Meds?” she asked.

 

“Yeah, I took them,” he whispered.

 

She breathed in and out, already pulling her jacket and her shoes on.

 

“I need you to do me a favor okay?” she said quietly.

 

“A favor?” he asked.

 

“Yeah, for me okay? I need you to get up out of that bed, okay? Get dressed and get in your car,” she said as she walked out of her apartment.

 

“Where am I going?” he said slowly, sitting up.

 

“You're going to see Mickey,” she said, waiting for him to freak out.

 

“What? No. Why would I do that!?” he exclaimed into the phone.

 

“Because I'm on my way and it's going to take a while to get there. Ian, it's Mickey or I call your whole fucking family okay? Go visit Mickey for a little bit. It will kill some time, and call me when you leave.” She said, hoping he'd agree.

 

“What if he won't see me?” he asked lightly.

 

“He will. I promise. Can you do this for me? Make sure he's okay, distract yourself.” She heard him sigh and she knew he would agree.

 

“Fine,” he said finally.

 

~~~~~

 

“Milkovich, you have an emergency phone call from your sister,” he heard the guard call out to him as he sat in the day room.

 

“Excuse me?” he asked, making sure he heard right.

 

“Your sister, she said it's a family emergency,” the guard said, ushering him towards the phone. He just shrugged, confused. What could be so wrong that Mandy would call him? He hasn't talked to her in a while, not for months.

 

“H..hello? Mandy?” he asked, starting to become frantic.

 

“Hey Mick, is, um, is Ian on your visitors' list still?” she asked. He could hear the panic in her voice.

 

“Why?” he asked warily.

 

“Because he's on his way there and I promised you'd see him. If you took him off the list, fucking put him back on,” she yelled into the phone.

 

“What the fuck is going on Mandy?” he yelled.

 

“Look I don't know, he called me, said he's been in bed for a few days okay? I just needed to get him out of bed, something’s wrong. He's been good okay, dating some guy or whatever, got a job and shit, but he sounded broken, I just, I know he left you and all but he's our family and I need you to distract him while I drive as fast as I can to get to him. I would call his family but it won't help him,” she rambled.

 

“How long is it gonna take you? They aren't going to let him stay too long, you know? I'm not at a day spa over here” he said, obviously freaking out.

 

 ~~~~~~~~~~

 

When Mickey got off the phone he went to find a guard, looking for one that didn't completely hate him. “Hey Frank, can you check my visitors' list? Ian Gallagher still on there?” he asked as Frank walked over to his computer and nodded. “Okay good.” Then he kind of broke. Started rambling about Ian, nothing too personal but needing to make sure he got in to see him and that he was sick. After a while, Frank stopped him.

 

“Let me see what I can do kid. You think he's a suicide risk or something? That why you need to keep him here as long as you can?” he asked.

 

“I don't know. I haven't seen him in months. Almost a year actually,” he said sadly. “But he's my family.” Frank nodded and walked off.

 

 

 

Mickey waited impatiently, staring at the clock, begging for Ian to get there before visiting hours ended. Praying Mandy got into town before they made him send Ian away. He saw Frank stop by.

 

“Alright kid here's the deal okay. You get to see him, got you set up in a visitors room for family only. Guards are good people, he can stay until they say for him to leave okay? But if your sister isn't here by then and you're still worried, we can call the hospital for a suicide watch okay?” Mickey nodded, knowing full well he wouldn't be able to do that, to be responsible for locking him up again.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

Ian walked slowly into the prison, being ushered by a tall guard who gave him a sad smile. He went to turn down the hall towards the visiting area but was told to keep going. “I don't understand,” he said simply.

 

“This way kid, Milkovich is waiting for you down here,” he said. “Let me rattle off some of these rules okay. You will be led into a room, where Mr. Milkovich will be. Two guards will be there to supervise. They will let you visit, when they say time is up, you will be ushered back out. What is your relationship to Mickey?” he finishes.

 

“Umm... family friend,” he says, looking from side to side. “Oh okay, well this next part might not be necessary then, but I'll say it anyway. You are allowed two hugs, one on arrival and one leaving, any other contact and you will be removed unless the guards okay it.” Ian just nodded.

 

“Shouldn't be a problem. I doubt Mickey would want to touch me anyway” he says. The guard nods as he opens the doors for him to enter.

 

Mickey is sitting there waiting, bouncing his knee and the two guards nod at him.

 

Ian slowly walks to the table and sits down.

 

“Hey,” he says softly, almost without sound.

 

Mickey can see it in his eyes. The despair, the cloudiness, and it honestly scares the shit out of him. “Hey, Gallagher. Tell me what's going on” he says simply.

 

“I can't, it's unfair. I can't look at you” he says, keeping his head down. Mickey looks over Ian's shoulder and places one finger on Ian's chin and pulls it up.

 

“Look, it's okay. You can tell me anything. You can tell me about your job or your family or even your stupid boyfriend, okay? The shit we have to deal with isn't for today. This is about you okay? You left me, fine, but you're fucking family and family doesn't just abandon each other, no matter how fucked up shit gets. Now talk to me.”

 

Ian nods slowly and rambles on about his life. Being an EMT, dating Caleb, and feeling numb.

 

“And I just couldn't feel it anymore, like, I remembered everything, our moments but I couldn't feel the way they made me feel like it wasn't there, so I fucked up things, like joking about bad things, acting like you never mattered but I was lying to myself. Then suddenly it all crashed down on me, like every feeling that I knew was there, every fucking moment that had all of these emotions behind them, they came down on me, and, and I broke, I was paralyzed” he said.

 

“Tell me about them,” Mickey said.

 

“All of them?” Ian asked him, looking up. Mickey nodded, not really sure if it was a good idea.

 

“Did you know I fell for you almost instantly? Of course, you didn't because I couldn’t tell you. If I did, you would have run and I knew that. Every look, every touch, in the beginning, was heaven to me but it was a dirty secret to you. I..we were building something before that day with your dad, it was hidden in the shadows but it was fucking there and then in a blink of an eye it was gone. I cried myself to sleep that night.” Ian started crying uncontrollably thinking about it. Mickey looked up as if to ask the guards if pulling Ian to him was okay and they nodded. So he scooted to the other side of the table and pulled him to him, letting him cry.

 

“I just wanted you, it's all I wanted but then you married Svetlana and, I fell apart. I didn't know I was losing my mind until much later, maybe I should have known, that my actions after that day were not just mine, but they were the part of me that is Monica,” he said, shaking.

 

“Hey, you are not Monica. Mandy tell you I'm divorced now?” he said, trying to lighten the mood. Ian just nodded.

 

“V told me,” he said silently. “I fell apart after that, and you tried to take care of me but you couldn't, I couldn't be fixed so I went crazy and then I went numb and I left you, I walked away, telling myself I didn't need a caretaker, but maybe I do,” he said.

 

Mickey stroked his hair. “You told me you loved me and I just walked away.  Who does that? I deserve whatever hell I'm in, Mickey.”

 

“No! Don't you say that! So what?  You got sick of me, that's okay.  Look where I'm at. I'm fucking stuck in here, what kind of shit is that for you. Fucked for life, I always said that, didn't I? Don't you dare say you deserve anything like that? This sinking feeling you’re having, is it just about us? Is that it? Meds good and everything?” He had to ask.

 

Ian nods at him. “Meds are evening out and it's a real bitch too. Because now all these feelings are back and what am I supposed to do with them, Mickey?” Ian asks.

 

“You feel them, Ian, you feel how much you loved me because I know you did, and you feel how much I still love your ass, you just feel. Then you move on and live. It wasn't fair for me to ask what I did.” He sighed.

 

Ian shrugged. “Maybe, maybe not, if I could have felt all of this, I would have said yes and meant it. Because my heart will wait for you even if I don't want it to. I do love you, Mickey. I always will.”

 

Mickey pulled Ian in for a quick kiss.

 

“I love you too Gallagher. As long I'm breathing

**Author's Note:**

> Being all caught up shameless is giving me entirely too much time to overthink these two. :)


End file.
